E-asTTle Practice Writing - Persuasive

I am aiming to improve my writing in the following 3 areas: I will make my paragraphs more organised, use better vocabulary, and explore more punctuation.

I will do this by making my paragraphs more structured and longer, I will use more descriptive words, and learn all the different sorts of grammar.

Marking criteria area	Checklist Level 4	Checklist Level 5	Checklist Level 6(+)	Example ( copy and paste a piece of your writing in here for each part of the checklist)
Spelling	- I have spelled all simple words correctly and have tried some difficult words.	- I have spelled all simple words correctly and some difficult words	- I have spelled all simple words correctly and I have plenty of difficult words that are also spelled correctly.	Copy and paste examples of 3 simple words and 3 difficult words that you have spelled correctly.
Organisation	- I have organised my writing into paragraphs (whenever I am writing about a new topic/idea, time, person, or place.) -The tense of my writing is consistent (e.g. if you are writing in past tense, you only use past tense verbs- ‘went’, ‘jumped’, ‘tripped.’	- The ideas in each of my paragraphs link together- Each paragraph should not just be separate chunks of writing, but should flow from one to the next.	- The last sentence of my paragraphs link with the first sentence of the next paragraph (e.g. last sentence- ‘...and the trees towered valiantly over the land.’ First sentence of next paragraph- ‘The trees were not the only things in the forest that resembled giants.’ (more here- https://blog.udemy.com/linking-words-for-essays/)	Copy and paste an example of the last sentence of one of your paragraphs linking to the first sentence of the next one.
Sentence Structure	- I do not have any fragment sentences - I do not have any run-on sentences (revise these on Google Classroom or Grammar Bytes if you have forgotten.)	- I have used a variety of simple, compound, and complex sentences in my writing. - There are no fragment sentences in my writing.	- My writing has a variety of sentences used to create impact (e.g. short sentences to increase the pace, complex sentences for vivid descriptions) -My writing contains embedded clauses -My writing is free from comma splices	Copy and paste an example of a simple sentence, a compound sentence, and a complex sentence from your writing.
Punctuation	- I have used full stops and capital letters correctly - I have used a variety of commas - I have experimented with other types of punctuation (parentheses/brackets, question marks, exclamation marks)	- I have accurately used a range of punctuation (parentheses/brackets, question marks, exclamation marks)	-I have used a wide range of punctuation to add to the impact and meaning of my writing.	Copy and paste at least 5 different types of punctuation that you have used in your writing.
Structure and Language	- My writing has some basic language features to enhance my writing - My opinions are expressed clearly through my writing	- My writing has some language features that are natural and enhance my writing. - My opinions are expressed clearly and with I structure my sentences with some purpose. - I have begun my writing with a clear opening statement to let the reader know what my writing is about	- My writing contains some advanced and effective language features that flow naturally and show originality -My opinions are expressed clearly, concisely, and my sentences are deliberately structured for effect. - My writing begins with a short sharp sentence or a rhetorical question or a ponderous thought to catch the reader’s attention.	Copy and paste your best example of descriptive language and your best example of a language feature.
Vocabulary	- I have begun to use a range of simple and complex words in my writing	-My writing contains quite a few complex words that enhance the meaning of your writing.	- My writing contains lots of complex words that enhance my writing, and are clearly and accurately used.	Copy and paste your 5 best words from your writing,
Ideas	-My ideas are explained well and are starting to show some complexity	- My ideas start to relate to the wider world - My ideas are elaborated fully	- My ideas are original and show insight. They relate strongly to the wider world and my writing contains philosophical thoughts and ponderings.	Copy and paste an example of your writing relating to the outside world or philosophical ideas.

science- Wind races

Aim: To build a wind racer and try to make it go the fastest in the class,

Equipment:
-Cart (trolly)
-paper
-a square of cardboard
-1 meter of tape


Research:

essay planning continued

The incident of Zélie finding Amari in Lagos and helping her escape helped me to understand the idea of the loyalty between friends and family because it shows me how you can become best friends with someone you only just met or someone you haven't known for ages. we see this when Amari pulls Zélie in between 2 fruit stands pleading to her to help her escape I quote; "Please help me! I have done something unforgivable. If they catch me..."

The incident of Zélie finding Amari in Lagos and helping her escape helped me to understand the idea of the loyalty between friends and family because it showed me that friendship can be more valuable than you think, so much it can save your life. It also showed me that peoples words can have such a big impact on your decisions and choices. I say this because Zelie listened to Mama Agbas words when she said "you must protect those who can't defend themselves" which pushed Zelie to help Amari escape Lagos.

Essay pre-planning

Today in english we did a sumery of the book "Children of blood and bone". We had to think of 5 different events that happened in the book and label them from 1 (the biggets event) to 5 (the smallest event) and pick one event we wanted to write about. Then we had to list down all of the characters that we could think of and pick the most important one that related to the event we picked. After we got the event and our character we had to think of what they were like before this event happend to what they were like after, for example before Zelie became a maji she was full of fear and anger to being strong and brave.

1. What is going to be my ‘key event’?

My key event is going to be when Zelie turned into a maji

2. Who is going to be my ‘important character’?

My important character is going to be Zelie

3. What are 3 ways the character changed as a result of this event? 

My character changed from being full of fear and anger to being strong and brave

My character changed from having white hair that was as straight as a blade to having just 1 . streak of white hair that was curly and wavey

My character changed from being using only blood magic to using reaper magic to bring back
magic for everyone

Here is the poster my group and I made,

Group performances

• Who is in your group? And what is each person doing?
• What song have you chosen and why?
• Add a link to the song you have chosen.
• What is the song about?
• Which part of the song will you start rehearsing first and why?

In my group we have Me, Brianna, Tai, Kiera and Tanaya. We have chosen to sing flashlight with Brianna playing the piano, we chose this song because it is a very powerful and upbringing song that can lift everyone up. this song is about someone being guided by someones life, we are going to start practicing from the start of the song,

The Power of One feedback/feedforward blog post

In the terrible time of 1948 till 1994 Apartheid spread around South Africa causing more than 170 black Africans to be beaten or hung to their deaths. In 1992 John Avildson directed the movie The Power Of One written about the horrible time of Aparthied, In the scene where the director uses a tracking shot to show us Gideon and Pk going for a run, we hear them talking about how cruel there Government is. In this scene we see the two running through and around Alexandra therefore showing us how badly treated they are. In this scene Avildson used many film techniques such as Tracking shots, Non diegetic sounds, Long shots and also dialogs.

One thing that I am proud of is that i tried my hardest to do as much as I could, even though I didnt finish it or write much. For our next essay that we get assigned i am going to make sure that set my mind to finishing it and not just leaving it half done like I did for the power of one. One thing I enjoyed about learning this film was I got to understand what all the black africans were going through during Apartheid. One thing I found chellanging about learning this film was trying to understand what they went through and having to figure out every little detail. One thing I learned that I will use next time in my essay is to use seal, sexxy and tako paragraphs, I will aslo drag out my sentances so it looks like ive written more. something I am wondering is what subjects I am going to take next year.

Aboriginal boomarng

Explain the pourpose of the activity:

I think that the pourpose of this activity was to try to understand the caulture of the aborigines and how they hunt.

Explain the story on your boomerangs, including the meaning of the colours:

The meeting place: To me the meeting place represented when we go camping on new years and we are all having fun and dancing to the years top songs

The sun/stars: To me the sun represented when we go swimming and kyaking/paddle bording in the summer. The stars represented at camp when we did solo and we just admired the stars because we dont see them at home how we seen them at camp.

What went well when painting your boomerangs:

When I was painting my boomerang I think that my patterns didnt go as planned but my i didnt give up and I keept going to make it the best i could.

My boomerang:

children of blood and bone

Chapter 22 - Amari
I pause for a moment, aghast at the number of them filling the narrow path. Before today, I caught only glimpses of the laborers brought in to staff the palace—always pleasant, clean, groomed to Mother’s satisfaction. Like Binta, I thought they lived simple lives, safe within the palace walls. I never considered where they came from, where else they might have ended up,
“Skies…” It’s almost too hard to bear the sight. Mostly diviners, the laborers outnumber the villagers by hordes, dressed in nothing but tattered rags. Their dark skin blisters under the scorching sun, marred by the dirt and sand seemingly burned into their beings. Each is hardly more than a walking skeleton.
This could be compared to / A message I take from this scene is


A message i take from this is that things arnt always what they seem, like Amari always thought that the laborers were clean and we treated good when in reality they were treated really bad and treated like they were slaves. It just shows Amari that she sould be more greatful for what she has and not believe everything that her parents tell her.




Chapter 23 - Zélie
Metal gates fly open on the sides of the arena floor, and an endless flow of water rushes in. This has to be a mirage. Yet liter after liter flows in. The water covers the metal ground, crashing with the expanse of a sea.
“How is this possible?” I hiss under my breath, remembering the laborers no more than skin and bone. So many dying for water and they waste it on this?
This could be compared to / A message I take from this scene is

this could be compared to chapter 22 like it says above when Amari thinks that the labourers are all squeaky clean when really they are "dressed in nothing but tattered rags" and are treated horribly. it compares to this chapter because they are waisting all the water on having battles and killing the labourers who were "dying for water".


Chapter 28 – Amari
Be brave, Amari.
This time I hold onto Binta’s words, wrapping them around my body like a suit of armor. I can be brave.
(EXAMPLE) A message I take from this scene is that we keep the people we love in our hearts. Their words can make us strong.


A message i take from this is to believe in myself because i can do anything.

Chapter 33 – Zélie
Gods help us. I close my eyes, trying to drown the tragedy out. Through it all, the cheers never stop. The praise never ends. As we stand on the platform, the crowd rejoices as if there’s a reason to celebrate this bloodbath.
Beside me, Tzain holds me close; he hasn’t really let go since he carried me from the ship. He keeps his expression vacant, but I can sense his remorse.
Though the competitor in him has prevailed, we’re still covered in the blood of those who have fallen. We may have triumphed, but this is no victory.
This could be compared to / A message I take from this scene is


This chapter reminds me of the movie/books the hunger games where the compettitors are put into an arena and are forced to fight to the death whalst the crowd whatch over the screen and chear every time someone dies.

Chapter 49 – Amari
Strike, Amari.
Father’s voice rings in my head, but it’s not his strength I need.
Be brave, Amari. Binta soothes instead.
Be the Lionaire.
(EXAMPLE) King Saran sees the ability to hurt others as strength. Amari has realized that strength can mean something else, as she learned from Binta. I believe strength comes from being strong enough to do what is right.

A message I take away from this text/quote is that people arnt always right and they dont always know what you mean, for example; she hears her father telling her to strike, but, thats not what she wants to hear, she needs to hear someone who is closer to her heart and who isnt as demanding as her father (King Saran).

Child solders

My Map About Child Soldiers For example 

explain
human rights 
powerful link The meaning of child solders

A child solder is someone who is under the age of 18 who gets picked out of  the other children by the state or non-state to go and be used as Fighters, Cooks, Suicide bombers, Human shields, messengers, spies or for sexual purposes.

What is my My Map showing?
 My My Map is showing where the most extreme places are in the world that recruit child soldiers and what world ranking they are.

Children are used in slavery because some families live in combat zones which makes children very voluble to being picked because they can be very easy to manipulate and they dont need as much food as adults so they don't go through as much food as fast. children who are forced into being a solder loose there human rights as they need to listen or they will be killed. There are many countries where child soldery happens for example Somalia, the people who recruit the children can make them carry around guns and make them do terrible things. being a child solder can stop them from having human rights like there right to a freedom of speech, from going places they want and many more. children dont have the rights to human rights because they take them away from slavery because they are selfish.

Reflection post

What new things have you learned 
I learnt how to write proper sentence starters and how to open my imagination

How is this going to help me to be a better creative writer?
It will help me because i will be able to  use my imagination more to write more creative writing

What activities did you enjoy from this unit? why?
I enjoyed the sentence starters because it allowed me to dig deep into my brain to get good ideas and it gave me a challenge to write something that i have never done before

Which styles of learning worked best for you?

• Working in silent
• Listening to music really loud
• Writing in my book
• Working by myself
• Getting handed work on paper

Guitar skills

Keyboard skills

Say Something, A Great big world

What grade did you get on your assignment?

I got an excellence.  

Are you happy with it?

Yes, I am very proud of what I have accomplished, I love this song and I feel i did a good job

What could you do to improve your grade?

I think I could have done better at memorising the all chords and learning how to play 3 finger chords as well as the right hand

What have you found enjoyable about playing the piano?

I found it enjoyable fiddling around with the keyboard and finding new chords to play with, Also I found it enjoyable playing this song as this is one of my favourite songs :)

What did you find challenging about playing the piano & why?

I found it hard to play the 3 finger chords thats why i only did one finger chords because it was hard to change from chord to chord in time with the song,
I also found it hard to play in front of people because I was scared i was going to get it wrong and then embarrass myself

Cold labour

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Many people qonder why people are used in child labour, there are a lot of reasons that have been answered over the years. There are over 3 million people who were used in child labour in the past 3 years. People were used in child labour because families didnt have anough money to support for the children so the kids have to work in brik factories, carpet making factories and cole mines for eg; as shown children working in child labour loose there human rights which denies them to have an education and to have a normal child hood

 Albert Einstein 

Who was he?

A German born theoretical physicist who developed the theory of relativity. One other two pillars of modern physics along side quantum mechanics

What did he do?

He was most famous for his theory of relativity, found out about gravity relativity and Einstein quantum description of light (for which he was rewarded the nobel prize.

Why did he win the nobel prize?

For his services to the theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect and reserve his nobel prize 1 year later in 1922.

Effects on today:

He is the one who made time zones so we have 24 hours and so we know the times of the days and so we know when it starts going dark & light

English, Writing matrix

Language features

for my first activity that i did was Language features and i picked the word Allusion. 

i learnt what this word means and lots of examples about it.

Haiku

i created a haiku called sunsets

Metaphors & similes 

The next one that I did was Metaphors & similes 

I learnt what the proper meaning of these words meant  

My Examples

Slam Poetry

Ben Stokes

Human Rights Poster